stranger.
TEXT 14. THE TV BLACKOUT
1
Art Buchwald
A week ago Sunday New York city had a blackout
and all nine television stations in the area went out for
several hours. This created tremendous crises in families
all over New York and proved that TV plays a much
greater role in people's lives than anyone can imagine.
For example, when the TV went off in the Bufkins's
house panic set in. First Bufkins thought it was his set in
the living-room, so he rushed into his bedroom and turned on that set.
Nothing. The phone rang, and Mrs. Bufkins heard her sister in
Manhattan tell her that there was a blackout.
She hung up and said to her husband, "It isn't your set.
Something's happened to the top of the Empire State Building."
Bufkins looked at her and said, "Who are you?"
"I'm your wife, Edith."
"Oh," Bufkins said. "Then I suppose those kids
2
in there are
mine."
"That's right," Mrs. Bufkins said. "If you ever got out of that
armchair in front of the TV set you'd know who we are."
"Oh! They've really grown," Bufkins said, looking at his son and
daughter. "How old are they now?"
"Thirteen and fourteen," Mrs. Bufkins replied.
"Hi, kids!"
"Who's he?” Bufkins's son, Henry, asked.
45
"It's your father," Mrs. Bufkins said.
“I'm pleased to meet you," Bufkins's daughter, Mary, said shyly.
There was silence all around.
"Look," said Bufkins finally. "I know I haven't been a good father but
now that the TV's out I'd like to know you better."
"How?" asked Henry.
"Well, let's just talk," Bufkins said. "That's the best way to get to
know each other."
"What do you want to talk about?" Mary asked.
"Well, to begin with, what school do you go to?"
"We go to High School," Henry said.
"So you're both in high school!" There was a dead silence.
"What do you do?" Mary asked.
"I'm an accountant
3
," Bufkins said.
"I thought you were a car salesman," Mrs. Bufkins said in surprise.
"That was two years ago. Didn't I tell you I changed jobs?" Bufkins
said.
"No, you didn't. You haven't told me anything for two years."
"I'm doing quite well too," Bufkins said.
"Then why am I working in a department store?" Mrs. Bufkins
demanded.
"Oh, are you still working in a department store? If I had known that, I
would have told you could quit last year. You should have mentioned it,"
Bufkins said.
There was more dead silence.
Finally Henry said, "Hey, you want to hear me play the guitar?"
"You know how to play the guitar? Say, didn't I have a daughter who
played the guitar?"
"That was Susie," Mrs. Bufkins said.
"Where is she?"
"She got married a year ago, just about the time you were watching
the World Series
4
."
"You know," Bufkins said, very pleased. "I hope they don't fix the
antenna for another couple hours. There's nothing better than a blackout
for a man who really wants to know his family."
NOTES:
1 blackout—a period of complete darkness (when all the electric lights go out) due
to the power failure.
46
2
kids (Am.) — children
3 an accountant — бухгалтер
4
World Series — baseball contest in America
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