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Text 24
THE TV BLACKOUT
by Art Buchwald
A week ago Sunday New York city had a blackout and all nine television stations in
the area went out for several hours. This created tremendous crises in families all over New
York and proved that TV plays a much greater role in people's lives than anyone can imagine.
For example, when the TV went off in the Bufkins's house panic set in. First Bufkins
thought it was his set in the living-room, so he rushed into his bedroom and turned on that set.
Nothing. The phone rang, and Mrs.Bufkins heard her sister in Manhattan tell her that there
was a blackout.
She hung up and said to her husband, "It isn't your set. Something's happened to the
top of the Empire State Building."
Bufkins looked at her and said, "Who are you?"
"I'm your wife, Edith."
"Oh," Bufkins said. "Then I suppose those kids' in there are mine."
"That's right," Mrs.Bufkins said. "If you ever got out of that armchair in front of the
TV set you'd know who we are."
"Oh! they’ve really grown," Bufkins said, looking at his son and daughter. "How old
are they now?"
"Thirteen and fourteen," Mrs.Bufkins replied.
"Hi, kids!"
"Who's he?' Bufkins's son, Henry, asked.
"It's your father," Mrs.Bufkins said.
"I'm
pleased to meet you," Bufkins's daughter,Mary, said shyly.
There was silence all around.
"Look," said Bufkins finally. "I know I haven't been
a good father but now that the TV's out I'd like to know you better."
"How?" asked Henry.
"Well, let's
just talk," Bufkins said. "That's the best
way to get to know each other."
"What do you want to talk about?" Mary asked.
"Well,
to begin with, what school do you go to?"
"We go to High School," Henry said.
"So you're both in high school!" There was a dead silence.
"What do you do?" Mary asked.
“I m an accountant, “Bufkins said.
"I thought you
were a car salesman," Mrs.Bufkins said in surprise.
"That was two years ago. Didn't I tell you I changed jobs?" Bufkins said.
"No, you didn't. You haven't told me anything for two years."
"I'm doing quite well too," Bufkins said.
"Then why am I working in a department store?"
Mrs.Bufkins demanded.
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"Oh, are you still working in a department store? If I had known that, I would have
told you could quit last year. You should have mentioned it," Bufkins said.
There was more dead silence.
Finally Henry said, "Hey, you want to hear me play the guitar?"
"You know how to play the guitar? Say, didn't I have a daughter who played the
guitar?"
"That was Susie," Mrs.Bufkins said.
"Where is she?"
"She got
married a year ago, just about the time you were watching the World Series."
"You know," Bufkins said, very pleased. "I hope they don't fix the antenna for another
couple hours. There's nothing better than a blackout for a man who really wants to know his
family."
NOTES:
blackout – a period of complete darkness when all the electric lights go out due to the power
failure.
kids Am. – children
an accountant – бухгалтер
World Series – baseball contest in America
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