The Best Ways Once two young teachers had a heated argument on the best ways of bringing up
children. They were walking along the corridor when they saw two boys approaching
and heard one of them say: ―Sometimes my granny makes me feel like cutting her
t‘roat.‖ At once one of the teachers stopped the boy and looking him sternly in the face
said: ―I expect my pupils to know that the word is not ‗t‘roat‘ but ‗throat‘.‖
A Cheap Secret YOUNG JOHN: I saw you kissing my sister, Mr. Brown. Would you like me to keep
silent on the subject?
MR. BROWN: Certainly, my boy! Here is a sixpence. And I expect you to keep it a
secret.
YOUNG JOHN: A sixpence? Do you really mean I have to keep it a secret for
sixpence? I got two shillings for not telling I saw Mr. Jones kissing her.
A Vain Threat SMITH: Mr. Brown, I want you to know that I owe you a grudge.
BROWN: Well, I don‘t mind it. I am not in the least afraid of it for I have never heard
you pay your debts.
A Wonderful Way of Earning Money A painter once saw an old man in a kilt walking along the street. It occurred to
him that he would like the man to sit for his picture. He sent his servant to settle the
matter. The servant did his best to make the man accept his master‘s offer. ―What does
your master want me to do?‖ asked the man. ―My master wants you to sit while he
paints you. You will have but little trouble and get a square pound for it. Just for
nothing!‖ The old man kept silent as if he didn‘t hear the servant speaking. ―Can‘t you
make up your mind?‖ exclaimed the latter out of patience with the old man. ―As to me I
consider it to be a wonderful way of earning money.‖ ―So do I!‖ said the old man. ―But
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will your master expect me to go painted for a long time or will he let me get the paint
off at once?‖
