157
"Perhaps at the end when she knew she was losing you, but,
darling, there were happy years."
"Yes." But he wanted to forget that he had ever loved anyone
before Julia.
Her generosity sometimes staggered him. On the seventh day of
their honeymoon, when they were drinking retsina
2
in a little restaurant
on the beach by Sunium
3
, he accidentally took a letter from Josephine
out of his pocket. It had arrived the day before and he had concealed it,
for fear of hurting Julia. It was typical of Josephine that she could not
leave him alone for the brief period of the honeymoon. Even her
handwriting was now abhorrent to him — very neat, very small, in black
ink, the colour of her hair. Julia was platinum-fair. How had he ever
thought that black hair was beautiful? Or been impatient to read letters
in black ink?
"What's
the letter, darling? I didn't know there had been a post."
"It's from Josephine. It came yesterday."
"But you haven't even opened it!" she exclaimed without a word of
reproach.
"I don't want to think about her."
"But, darling, she may be ill."
"Not she."
"Or in distress."
"She earns more with her fashion designs than I do with my
stories."
"Darling, let's be kind. We can afford to be. We are so happy."
So he opened the letter. It was affectionate and uncomplaining and
he read it with distaste:
Dear Philip,
I didn't want to be a death's head
4
at the reception, so I had no
chance to say goodbye and wish you both the greatest possible
happiness. I thought Julia looked terribly beautiful and so very, very
young. You must look after her carefully. I know how well you can do
that, Philip dear. When I saw her, I couldn't help wondering why you
took such a long time to make up your mind to leave me. Silly Philip. It's
much less painful to act quickly.
I don't suppose you are interested to hear about my activities now,
but just in case you are worrying a little about me — you know what an
old worrier you are — I want you to know that I’m working very hard at
a whole series for — guess, the French Vogue. They are paying me a