171
them. This peculiarity of character grew with my growth, and, in my
manhood, I derived from it one of my principal sources of pleasure. To
those who have cherished an affection for a faithful and sagacious dog, I
need hardly be at the trouble of explaining the nature of the intensity of
the gratification thus derivable. There is something in the unselfish and
self-sacrificing love of a brute, which goes directly to the heart of him
who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry friendship and gossamer
fidelity of mere
Man.
I married early, and was happy to find in my wife a disposition not
uncongenial with my own. Observing my partiality for domestic pets,
she lost no opportunity of procuring those of the most agreeable kind.
We had birds, gold-fish, a
fine dog, rabbits,
a small monkey, and
a cat.
This latter was a remarkably large and beautiful animal, entirely
black, and sagacious to an astonishing degree. In speaking of his
intelligence, my wife, who at heart was not a little tinctured with
superstition, made frequent allusion to the ancient popular notion, which
regarded all black cats as witches in disguise. Not that she was ever
serious upon this point - and I mention the matter at all for no better
reason than that it happens, just now, to be remembered.
Pluto - this was the cat's name - was my favourite pet and
playmate. I alone fed him, and he attended me wherever I went about the
house. It was even with difficulty that I could prevent him from
following me through the streets.
Our friendship lasted, in this manner, for several years, during
which my general temperament and character - through the
instrumentality of the fiend Intemperance - had (I blush to confess it)
experienced a radical alteration for the worse. I grew, day by day, more
moody, more irritable, more regardless of the feelings of others. I
suffered myself to use intemperate language to my wife. At length, I
even offered her personal violence. My pets, of course, were made to
feel the change in my disposition. I not only neglected, but ill-used
them. For Pluto, however, I still retained sufficient regard to restrain me
from maltreating him, as I made no scruple of maltreating the rabbits,
the monkey, or even the dog, when by accident, or through affection,
they came in my way. But my disease grew upon me - for what disease
is like alcohol? - and at length even Pluto, who was now becoming old,
and consequently somewhat peevish - even Pluto began to experience
the effects of my ill-temper.
172
One night, returning home, much intoxicated, from one of my
haunts about town, I fancied that the cat avoided my presence. I seized
him; when, in his fright at my violence, he inflicted a slight wound upon
my hand with his teeth. The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I
knew myself no longer. My original soul seemed, at once, to take its
flight from my body; and a more than fiendish malevolence, gin-
nurtured, thrilled every fibre of my frame. I took from my waistcoat
pocket a pen-knife, opened it, grasped the poor beast by the throat, and
deliberately cut one of its eyes from the socket! I blush, I burn, I
shudder, while I pen the damnable atrocity.
When reason returned with the morning - when I had slept off the
fumes of the night's debauch - I experienced a sentiment half of horror,
half of remorse, for the crime of which I had been guilty; but it was, at
best, a feeble and equivocal feeling, and the soul remained untouched. I
again plunged into excess, and soon drowned in wine all memory of the
deed.
In the meantime the cat slowly recovered. The socket of the lost
eye presented, it is true, a frightful appearance, but he no longer
appeared to suffer any pain. He went about the house as usual, but, as
might be expected, fled in extreme terror at my approach. I had so much
of my old heart left, as to be at first grieved by this evident dislike on the
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